Do You Have Good Sexual Health?

Marriages should never just be about sex. But, let’s be honest. Sex plays a rather large part in a healthy marriage and it is the one thing that should never be shared with anyone other than your spouse. That makes it so revered and sacred.

Sexual health is the ability to be aroused and still be able to do something about it. It may be very different for a young, healthy couple compared to an older couple with health issues, but in both cases, married couples can find fulfillment.

Feeling good about your body enhances the sexual experience 10 fold. I know this first hand as my weight has fluctuated up and down many pounds over the years. When I felt heavy, I wanted the lights off or very dim. When I was in racing form, I donned the Victoria Secret and did not mind lights on. Most of us can still get aroused when we are not in our best body, but the experience is not the same. So, as we go into the new year, be your best. Did you hear that? I said your best and no one elses.

Sex can also be very emotional, often times more so for women. Years ago when my husband stepped outside of the boundaries of marriage ( ) my psyche had taken a hard hit. I could not achieve orgasm with this same man who had been giving them to me for over 25 years. It took months of putting the marriage back together before my body image and ability to orgasm recovered. Thankfully it did as the trust was restored in the marriage and the more functional ways to communicate began to form. I hope this was not T.M.I. for you, but I’m just keeping it real!

Communication is the most important facet of getting what you want and need as well as supplying your partner with the same. I know it can be the most excruciating and embarrassing thing to talk about. It can really hurt your partner’s feelings to blurt out what you didn’t like or what hurts or feels weird. I have found that there are some silent ways to communicate that work well. If you catch your partner doing something that does not please, do not make any sexy sounds. Change positions as soon as you are able. When he/she finds the right spot, the right intensity or the right angle, then it is your turn to talk, scream, moan or whatever. Perhaps later, maybe over drinks, you can approach the subject more objectively if there is truly an issue you find in need of more clarification.

Planning or scheduling sex always seems to take away the spontaneity and romance, but there will be times in your busy lives where you simply must eke out some grown-up play time. Without sex, couples can become irritable and take those frustrated feelings out on the whole family. I am of no use to anyone when I am crabby.

Sex can be like pizza and chocolate. As much as I love pizza and chocolate if I ate them every day for the rest of my life, I may lose interest. A change up now and again (position, dirty talk, toys if you are comfortable, role play etc…) can be a breath of fresh air. The most important thing for changing up the routine is to lay little ground rules first. Nothing kills the evening quicker than 1 partner wanting to try dirty talk or toys one evening when the other just wants teenage make out and romance.

How is your sexual health? If you are enjoying your partner regularly and keeping the lines of communication open, then kudos to you and cheers to the new year and all it may bring.

Photo credits to Billy Delfs

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