So often in a marriage, there is some reason or another that your man or woman exasperates you. Maybe it is too much familiarity, or perhaps you are taking your bad day at work out on your spouse without even realizing it. Whatever the reason I used to find myself getting embroiled up to my elbows in the fight. Dish it out and I’ll not only take it but shovel it right back. Throw me your angry superlatives and I will throw them at you with a vengeance.
Somehow staying angry at my husband and letting the wounds fester never seemed as much fun as making up quickly and getting on with life. That being said, we are over thirty years into the marriage and some of the same stupid disagreements still linger. It’s just our different personalities and temperments clashing (see 7/30/18 blog on Preparation).
Solution? You Zig and I’ll Zag. You go one way and I will go the other. When we cannot handle the same strong discussion or our moods are not in alignment with true marital happiness, I will step out and run some errands, or he will go off on a bike ride. Just the physical distance of being apart for a while dissipates the anger enough that we can both come back with a new perspective. Often times we see that what we were arguing about was ridiculous, to begin with.
Have you ever had an argument about the dishes in the sink? Be thankful there was enough food in the house to dirty up those dishes. Are we out of laundry detergent again? Be thankful that you have enough other outfits to last you the week. Did you forget to bring the mail in from the box at the end of that long driveway? For goodness sake, go take a walk and get it!
Not all arguments are this trite, but honestly, most of them are. Step back and think about how angry you really are that she forgot your favorite flavor of ice cream or that you don’t understand why he still leaves the wet towels on the bathroom floor.
I can always tolerate those idiosyncrasies better when I think of the alternative; not having him around. Try understanding his or her side, and if you cannot, then revel in the fact that you have someone who puts up with your eccentricities and foibles as well.