Recently our financial firm called us when they noticed that my husband had hit the big six-zero. They wanted to talk to us about our investments and perhaps make some changes as we get closer to retirement. From time to time, we do shift around our funds and hope that investing and reinvesting will bring us greater returns when we need it.
It really got me to thinking about how we must on occasion reallocate the “funds” that we are investing into our relationship too if we want to have excellent returns. What does it mean to be “invested” in your relationship? It means time, love, adoration, being a helpmate, honoring and respecting the other person. It means putting yourself second.
You are not invested when you treat your partner as just a friend with benefits. You go about your life as if you are the only one that matters. You are not invested when you bicker about doing more than your share or complaining that there just isn’t the reciprocity there used to be.
If I just struck a nerve, suck it up, cupcake. Now is the time to step up, show up, be there, go the extra mile and stop complaining. Investing in the relationship doesn’t have to be complicated. Small gestures go a long way.
Imagine her surprise when you remember to bring her favorite flavor of ice cream back from the grocery store on your way home from work. Imagine his delight when you stayed on hold for seventeen minutes waiting for your turn in the queue to talk to the refrigerator repairman so that he didn’t have to listen to seventeen minutes of Muzak and that annoying voice saying “We are experiencing high call volume. Please continue to hold”.
Just as financial investments go in and out like a tide, our marital bliss flows high and low too. It doesn’t matter if your partner is silly, moody, crazy, angry, funny, easily agitated, or far from perfect. Deep down in the recesses of your brain, you know your love is powerful and that you have the capacity to share and invest again and again. Lead by example and see what your ultimate return will be.