Do you remember when you and your spouse were dating and getting serious? Perhaps you felt comfortable enough to lay some ground rules about the association. Early in my marriage, my husband was my bike trainer. He was getting me ready to compete in the Hawaii Ironman, which included a 112-mile bike ride, sandwiched in between a 2.4-mile ocean swim and a 26.2-mile marathon. I vividly remember him telling me that no matter how much he loved me, he was not going to work on my bicycle. I had better be comfortable doing my own basic repairs. That was the rule. He had his own several racing bikes to maintain.
A few years into our marriage, I had become quite adept at changing flat tires, and only the very basic adjustments to the machine. I was riding many miles each week and there were times where as soon as I clipped into the racing pedals, I became one with the machine. On one particular ride, I felt like the bike was simply faster, The chain felt like it was brand new and I seemed to be gliding, almost flying. Upon returning home, I bragged about how effortless the ride was and that something just felt different. Well, the love of my life, who warned me he would never work on my bikes said that he saw my worn chain and had replaced it. Oh, that sweetheart!
I make good coffee. My husband makes great coffee. Our coffee maker sits on the counter of our kitchen where we both have equal access to it. I am a grown woman. I know how to use this simple machine, however, because I like my husband’s special flair for the right amount of coffee to water ratio I always ask if he will make me coffee. He does. He always makes me feel appreciated by doing this when I am standing just as close to that coffee maker as he is.
So what little things do you do for your partner that you either do not enjoy doing or feel you shouldn’t have to do? Here are a few of the things that I do, just because I like to show I care.
- Take the recycle stuff to the recycle station before the can in the garage starts to overflow.
- Keep him company when he has mundane errands to run.
- Mow the lawn.
- Clean the cat litter box.
Do you know what he does for me on a consistent basis? He cleans the bathrooms! Yes, I have married an angel from clean bathroom heaven.
When he does jobs that I usually do and I do jobs that he usually does, we feel loved. Now, here is the caveat. If you are doing these things to score brownie points or show how sacrificial you are, you will get no reward. These acts of kindness will not always be noticed by your spouse. You should be doing them because you want to. If you have an ulterior motive, you will be disappointed.
I would love to hear your story about the things you do just because you want to lighten the load of the love of your life.