It’s Been A While

We all go through ebbs and flows of motivation, don’t we? There are times when we can keep several plates spinning and thrive on the busyness of life, and there are other times when we need to be laser focused.

I just went through a time where laser focus was needed to finish writing my second book. This one is near and dear to my heart, as I wanted to honor the passing of six special people in my life. Yet, I had no idea how therapeutic this writing would be, and I was shocked that after all of these years I could still have such fresh grief.

River grave 5

The writing and research I did for the book really put into perspective that grief is an ongoing event. It is not something we do and check it off of our “to-do” list. Grief can come and go or can be a haunting, lingering affair. It can take place in the form of a moist eye when you look at an old photograph or convulsive spasms of crying at the slightest recollection.

It has been forty-three years since the passing of my Grandfather, yet I bawl every time our church service chooses the How Great Thou Art hymn to close with. It has been fifteen years since the passing of my Father, and you can guarantee that I will have to excuse myself at the Christmas Eve Service if they dare sing Lo’How a Rose E’er Blooming. Keeping these special memories of their favorite hymns alive is a way I honor them.

River grave 2

I would love to hear your ways of dealing with grief. Is it to journal? Perhaps you spend time at the graveyard or look through old photo albums.  Maybe you wear the jewelry of the person you miss. These are all common. The point I hope to make is that we should never let our grief consume us, but never let those precious memories fade either.

Your feelings are just as valid when they are fresh as when they are dulled by the passing of time. Understanding that death is a part of life has helped me heal in ways that I hope to share in Letters to  the Dead Men – Unexpected Revelations





2 thoughts on “It’s Been A While

  1. Very well said indeed! A song that always gets me at Christmas is that goofy one sung by Burl Ives called “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” because Randy always used to sing it and make hilarious faces and expressions. It came over my car radio once a few years ago while I was getting on the freeway, and I had to pull over to sob and laugh and laugh and sob. It was such a grace to be able to connect with my brother in such a silly but poignant way! (And I also have lumps in my throat with “How Great Thou Art”, but the one that makes me think of Dad-Dad is “The Old Rugged Cross”. And “Lo, How a Rose” is a good one for Daddy! I especially remember Teddy with any of the songs from “Tommy” and a few from the Beatles.)

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