You’ve been married for a while. Me too! You think you know that person so well. Same here. Well, even though you have tried for years to “fix” her or show him how to do it the “right” way. we as couples still have our differences. It’s frustrating to see that I still want things dome my way and Jimmy still wants things done his way.
These differences in how the yard work gets done, how the bills are paid and how the laundry gets folded can really grate on one’s nerves. Have you tried delegating the jobs so that you are in charge of what you enjoy doing the most? I know, I know, no one enjoys housework. Or do they? I will admit that there are a few things I actually enjoy doing. I love to mow the lawn. It is a wonderful opportunity for me to sit on the tractor and get some sun. I was a figure skater as a child and also like pretending that I am driving the Zamboni for the Olympic rink. I truly love folding the laundry too. There is a fresh smell to it and it makes me feel a sense of serenity knowing I have these wonderful, clean clothes to wear.
Jimmy seems to like to organize the garage, for he does it several times a year. He also cleans the bathrooms. I gladly let him “enjoy” those activities and love the fact that when I am about to garden, I know my tools are all in a row in the gardening section of the clean garage.
There have been times where I have had to clean a bathroom or straighten up the garage. I know I will have to hear about how I neglected to scrape the mud off of the shovel and hoe or how I did not get the area around the back of the toilet clean. Let it go. Say a simple “OK, next time.” and move on. There are times when Jimmy sees the laundry and folds it himself. He folds shirts in a way that leaves a crease down the center of the shirt. Having worked retail for years, I like the fold where the sleeves are tucked underneath and the entire front of the shirt is exposed, sans creases. Do I take a grown ass man and teach him how to fold? Let it go. Hang the darned shirt on a hanger for a day and the crease will dissipate. Be thankful he is such a help around the house.
The differences in the small things are so trivial, and when we pick on our mates for these things, it can be a real buzz kill. It can even lead to insecurity in other areas like the bedroom, and that is one area where I personally want to feel confident, loved and appreciated.
Let the small things go so that the big things will matter most.