Do you remember when your man looked at you like David looked at Bathsheba when he saw her bathing? (2 Samuel Chapter 11) I remember. I keep my favorite picture of my husband and me on my bulletin board. We were in our twenties, and honestly, I don’t even remember who took the photo. The point is, he looked at me with those dreamy eyes of a man smitten.
Somewhere in the marriage things became too familiar, and he no longer looked at me that way. It took a brave and smart thirteen-year-old to tell me. Yes, when my daughter was a teen she brought to my attention that she no longer wanted to see me come home from work and don the grubby sweatpants and crocs. What if one of her friends came over and saw me like that! I laughed it off thinking that all moms are entitled to look frumpy when raising multiple children. I wanted to be comfortable while cooking and cleaning. I was all ready to quote 1 Peter to her (3:3-4) “Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” But, instead of quoting scripture, I realized how much it bothers me when my son would go out in public with his hair looking like he just woke up. I was always reminding him of what a comb looked like and what it was used for. Could it be that my husband would like to see me with my hair down once in a while? Would he give me that delicious kiss coming through the door if I looked like a woman worthy of kissing? Hmmmmm.
It made me think of what other things might irritate him or what other things have gotten too familiar. I always assumed that once we were married we could share everything, even the bathroom. Was it a big deal if I passed gas or burped in the comfort of my own home? Yes. If I was mortified about those things when we dated, I should be more discreet once married.
I am not suggesting turning the clock back to 1958 and stepping into an episode of the Donna Reed Show, but keeping myself looking my best goes a long way in keeping the romance alive and well. In like manner, my husband refrains from annoying habits that kill intimacy.
Solution? Keep private things private. That lock on the bathroom door is there for a reason. When done working out, shower and put some cute but comfortable clothes back on. Have you ever heard the saying that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have? Well, it works for marriage too.
There are plenty of times to lounge around in the sweats and let that hair go another day without washing it, but for the most part, I want to attract and not repel my husband. A little effort goes a long way.