Emotional Infidelity

What is emotional infidelity? Some say that the book of Matthew from the Bible (Matthew 5:28) is a bit extreme. I mean, come on, that book was written over 2000 years ago! But let’s think again. Do you think people 2000 years ago had money problems? Did they have relationship issues? Did the men look at women other than their wives? Did the wives look at other men and wonder “What if….”?  I think our current issues are as old as time itself. Today we just have fancier gadgets, different modes of transportation and entertainment, but the emotions, arguments, tastes of individuals are basically the same.

So let’s check out the N.I.V. version. It says “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.”


Most of us look at this as a bit out of touch with reality, but having been cheated on in the very real sense, I cannot help but think that it all began there……with just some emotional infidelity. It was only a simple look across  the bar. A lonely, single mom checking out a lonely, married man. What began as emotional infidelity blossomed into a full blown affair. Perhaps it was as innocent as a simple smile or a kind look. Maybe it progressed to sitting closer at the bar, offering to buy the next drink or a guiltless dance to a great song the band was playing, but on and on it went.

Whether this went on in one night of over the course of several weeks is irrelevant. Whether an innocent dance with another woman ended right there or progressed to sharing phone numbers and sex is irrelevant. In my mind, it is still hurtful and still “cheating”.

Wives, be careful how long you linger at the post office talking to that nice looking, male teller. Husbands, why are you stopping off at the bar after work while your wife worked all day and is rushing to get the kids home from baseball practice in time to have a family dinner? Wives, is it appropriate to go to a business dinner with a male co-worker? Husbands, when you are in a hotel for business are you really just being entertained by the TV choices at your hotel?

Let’s start thinking of our partner first, and seeing if that cheap thrill is really so innocent after all. Remember that we truly did fall in love with our mate at one time and even through many changes, they are still yours to love, adore, and cherish.

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